The three rituals for the end of the year

As 2022 draws to the end, there are successes to be celebrated, and some lessons to be learned.

We don’t need to wait for a new year to start making changes, but it seems like a good time to share three rituals for a more balanced and focused 2023. The following are three rituals I enjoy and I would like to share.

Humans have been connected to rituals since pre-colonization times. Rituals reflect the worldview of a culture, it is a moment to pause, focus and celebrate the present of what we have accomplished. 

1. Balancing ritual

On the sheet, draw a line. On the left side, write the year we are leaving behind, and on the right side, write the year to come. In 2022 write what you want to leave behind. In 2023 write what you want to have.

Then burn the sheet or break it and bury it. This is how we symbolize that everything flows and transforms like energy.

2. Ritual of reflection

You can do it as a meditation or write them in case you want to share it. Close your eyes and evoke the following moments. First, the best moments of this passing year. Two, your biggest challenges this year. Three, what were the movies, books, songs that marked you this year. Four, how was your health this year? Five, what was your favourite month and why?. Six, what was your most chaotic month and why?. Seven, what are you proud of? In this try not to compare yourself with other people and also that social recognition does not influence. Eight, what did you learn this year?

3. Set goals

Perhaps this is the most common, but not my favourite personally. Choose three objectives that you want to fulfil. Once you choose them, write them in the present tense. Ex. Finally, I already got my driver’s licence. Now I am more independent and confident in driving long distances. Finally, a visualisation exercise. Simply close your eyes and visualise when you have already met these three objectives and feel the emotions of these moments.

What is the ritual that you do?

If there is something that resists you when it comes to achieving it, the biggest obstacle may be your mindset, since change requires more energy than being in constant monotony. I hope the ritual you chose helps you to start a more conscious new year.

Happy new year 2023 and happy life always.

Los tres rituales de fin de año

Estamos por terminar el año 2022, hay cosas que celebrar, y otras que quedan como enseñanzas.

Creo que no necesitamos esperar a un nuevo año para iniciar cambios, pero me parece un buen momento para compartir tres rituales e iniciar el 2023 con más conciencia y enfoque. En este post compartiré los tres rituales que más me gustan. 

Los humanos estamos conectados a los rituales desde la época prehispánica. Los rituales  reflejan la cosmovisión de una cultura, es un momento de pausa para enfocarnos y celebrar lo que conseguimos. 

1. Ritual de balance

Dibuja una línea en la hoja. En un lado apunta el año que dejamos y en el otro lado el año que viene. En el 2022 escribe aquello de quieres dejar atrás. En el 2023 escribe lo que quieres tener. 

Después quema la hoja o rompelo y enterrarla. Ya que así simbolizamos que todo fluye y se transforma

2. Ritual de reflexion 

Lo puedes hacer como meditación o escribirlos en caso de querer compartirlo. Cierra los ojos y evoca los siguientes momentos. Primero, evoca los mejores momentos de este año que se va. Dos, cuáles fueron los mayores desafíos de este año. Tres, cuáles fueron las películas, libros, canciones que te marcaron este año. Cuatro, cómo estuvo tu salud este año. Cinco, cuál fue tu mes favorito y por qué. Seis, cuál fue tu mes más caótico y por qué. Siete, de qué estás orgullosa. En este intenta no compararte con otras personas y que el reconocimiento social no influya. Ocho, cuáles fueron tus aprendizajes de este año. 

3. Marca objetivos 

Quizás este es el más habitual. Elige tres adjetivos que quieras cumplir. Una vez los elijas, escribelos en tiempo presente. Ej. Ya conseguí el permiso de conducir. Ahora soy más independiente y estoy segura de conducir distancias largas. Ejercicio de visualización, sencillamente cierra los ojos y visualiza cuando ya hayas cumplido estos tres objetivos. 

¿Cuál es el ritual que tú haces? 

Si hay algo que se te resiste a la hora de conseguirlo, el obstáculo más grande puede ser tu propiamente, ya que requiere más energía el cambio que el estar en una constante monotonía. Espero que el ritual que hayas elegido te ayude a dar un balance e inicies un 2023 más consciente.  

Feliz año 2023 y feliz vida siempre. 

It isn’t being selfish to say bye to some people, it’s being smart

It’s been a long time for me without posting, but I have many ideas and topics I would like to share with all of you.

This post will be about toxic relationships…I was hanging out with some girlfriends and we started talking about the kind relationships that drag out your energy. We can call them negative, toxic, selfish or however your want… I think we at one point we all have experienced one in our life.

This relationship can be easy to identify, but sometimes it can be difficult to accept as a toxic relationship because you may have a long history with that person. These people can be family, close friends or ex-partners. The kind of people that we can’t let go of easily.

The brain doesn’t like to say goodbye, but if it’s a toxic relationship the best thing to do is divorce from them or put the relationship in a permanent timeout. It isn’t being selfish. It’s being smart because it takes only one negative person to destroy your marriage, your business, your inner peace, etc.

I recently chose to say goodbye to people I love, because it was more the negativity that they brought into my life rather than the small moments of happiness to keep them around. I think it takes courage, discipline and consistency in remembering what kinds of relationships you want to create.

It’s healthier to run off these relationships if you want a higher standard for how to be treated, you have to hold yourself to it. Then you will be unstoppable in creating the relationships you deserve… or that’s what the theory say.

Sean Stephenson, an American therapist and motivational speaker, says “if you’re not being treated the way you want to be treated in your life, whose responsibility is it? It’s yours. If you want to be treated with more respect you have to treat yourself with more respect because you teach people how to treat you”.

So if there is any area of your life in which you are not happy with what you receive, speak up and choose different. If people doesn’t fit into your standard, they have to leave and you can choose better people to be around.

Remember, “surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself” (Edmund Lee) because people you surround yourself with is who you will become.

It is hard to let go, but it will feel good after time progresses. As a result, you will get your energy back and amazing things will happen. Raise your frequency energy because your relationships will do the same.

Live the amazing life you deserve.

Thanks for reading

No es egoísta decir adiós a algunas personas, es ser listo

Hace mucho que estoy sin escribir un post, pero tengo muchas ideas y temas que me gustaría compartir con todos ustedes.

Este post será sobre las relaciones tóxicas… Estaba de paseo con amigas y hablamos sobre ese tipo de relaciones que te quitan energía. Podemos llamarlas negativas, tóxicas, egoístas o como tú quieras… Creo que todos tuvimos o tenemos esta experiencias en algún punto de nuestra vida.

Esta relación puede ser fácil de identificar, pero difícil de aceptarla como tóxica porque puede que tengas un larga historia con esa persona. Esta persona puede ser un familiar, amigo/a, o ex pareja. Es ese tipo de persona que no podemos dejar ir fácilmente.

Al cerebro no le gusta decir adiós, pero si es una relación tóxica lo mejor es divorciarse de esta o ponerla en un aislamiento permanente. No es ser egoísta decir adiós, es ser listo porque sólo lleva a una persona negativa el destruir tu matrimonio, tu negocio, tu paz interior, etc.

Recientemente decidí decir adiós a gente que amo porque era más la negatividad que traían a mi vida que los pequeños momentos de felicidad que tenía al tener estas relaciones al rededor mío. Creo que requiere valentía, disciplina y consistencia recordando qué tipo de relaciones quieres crear.

Es más saludable decir adiós a estas relaciones, si quieres un estándar más alto en cómo quieres ser tratada/o, tienes que sujetarte a eso. Entonces serás imparable creando las relaciones que te mereces…. o eso es lo que la teoría dice.

Sean Stephenson, un terapeuta americano y orador motivacional dice, “si no estás siendo tratado de la forma que quieres en tu vida, ¿de quién es la responsabilidad? Es tuya. Si quieres ser tratado con más respeto, tú mismo tienes que tratarte con más respeto porque tú enseñas a los demás como tratarte”.

Por lo tanto, si hay alguna área de tu vida en la que no estás a gusto con lo que recibes, háblalo y escoge diferente. Si hay gente que no encaja en tu estándar, tienen que irse y tú puedes elegir personas mejores de las que rodearte.

Recuerda, “rodéate de gente que vea grandeza en ti, aunque ni tu lo veas en ti” (Edmund Lee) porque la gente de la que te rodeas es en quien te convertirás.

Es difícil dejar ir, pero después de un tiempo te sentirás mejor. Como resultado, tendrás tu energía de vuelta y cosas maravillosas pasarán. Eleva tu frecuencia energética porque tus relaciones harán lo mismo.

Vive la vida maravillosa que te mereces.

Gracias por leer

I sometimes think why do I repeat some experiences over and over again

Many years ago cartographers thought the world was a square, astronomers believed that the sun revolved around the earth. When I used to be a little girl I believed that my oldest sister had a special power to know the truth. I believed that if I cried a lot and loudly I would get what I want. As a teenager I used to tell my mom that I didn’t care about anything, but the truth was that I did care very much. I thought being cool is looking and learning from others rather than just being myself. When I was with my first boyfriend, I thought we would be together forever but I had a few breakups since then….. I thought that happiness was destiny.

I let other people rule my world without realizing it, I was wrong in every belief I had but I learnt that I could change these experiences and now I see that happiness is a choice.

I sometimes think, why did my experiences, mostly the bad ones, seem to repeat over and over again. The other day, I was listening to Enric Corbera’s podcast and he said that experiences are related to your values and beliefs. In other words he said that whatever happens to you is being shape by your beliefs and you tend to support them with every experience. So, If I’m aware of the role I played in my bad experiences, I could changed them, just as I changed my experiences as teenager.

Every person you met compliments you in some way or they’re a reflection of you, so each one of them teaches you something. It’s your responsibility to learn something of every relationship in your present and from your past. Then you can change the pattern.

Be aware of how your relationships are and better circumstances or relationships will show up in your life.

If you don’t learn about your bad experiences, they will keep repeating until you learn what is necessary to change it. The psychiatrist C.G. Jung said ¨what you deny suppresses you, what you accept transforms you¨.

You can fail many times trying to do something, but learn from it until you get what you want. Michael Jordan said “I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed”. You repeat, comprehend and choose… so open your mind to new possibilities and new choices.

With love, Lorena

♥️🙏🏽

A veces pienso porqué repito algunas experiencias tantas veces

Hace muchos años cartógrafos pensaron que el mundo era un cuadrado y astrónomos dijeron que el sol giraba entorno a la tierra. Cuando era pequeña creía que mi hermana mayor tenía un poder especial para saber la verdad. Creía que si lloraba mucho y ruidosamente obtendría lo que quería. Cuando era adolescente solía decir a mi madre que no me importa nada, pero la verdad era que me importaba demasiado. Pensé que ser guay era ver y aprender de los demás, en vez de ser yo misma. Cuando estaba con mi primer novio pensé que íbamos estar juntos para siempre pero mi corazón se rompió algunas veces desde entonces, pensé que la felicidad estaba destinada.

Dejé que otra gente controle mi mundo sin nisiquiera saberlo, estuve equivocada en cada una de las creencias que tenía pero aprendí a cambiar esas experiencias y ahora sé que la felicidad es una elección.

A veces pienso porqué mis experiencias, sobre todo las malas, se repiten una y otra vez. El otro día estaba escuchando un podcast de Enric Cobrera en el que hablaba de esto y decía que “las experiencias están relacionadas con tus valores y creencias”. En otras palabras decía que cualquier cosa que te pasa está moldeada por tus creencias y tienden a ser validadas con cada experiencia. Por lo tanto, si estoy consciente del papel que yo y mis creencias juegan en mis malas experiencias yo puedo cambiarlas. Tal y como cambie las creencias cuando era adolescente.

Cada persona que conoces te complementa en cierta forma o son una reflexión de ti mismo. Cada persona te enseña algo y es tu responsabilidad aprender de cada relación de tu presente y de tu pasado. Entonces podrás cambiar ese patrón repetitivo.

Se consciente de cómo son tus relaciones personales, estas se repetirán tantas veces como sean necesarias hasta que aprendas lo que necesitas para cambiarlas. Como dice el psiquiatra C.G. Jung “lo que niegas te oprime, lo que aceptas te transforma”.

Puedes equivocarte muchas veces en una misma cosa, aprende de ello e inténtalo hasta que consigas lo que quieres. Michael Jordan dijo “me caí una y otra vez en la vida y esa es la razón por la que triunfe”. Repite, comprende y elige… abre tu mente a nuevas posibilidades y nuevas elecciones.

Con amor, Lorena

♥️🙏🏽

Our bodies have the power to heal themselves

I was thinking to write this post for a long time, but I didn’t feel completely inspire to finish it… but seeing changes in my family, friends and myself now it’s the best time.

I became a vegetarian a year ago and I started to notice some changes. It seemed like my body was cleaner, my mind clearer and I was having less space for negativity, sadness, and anger. I naturally became a magnet to others who had positive energy and I’m more at peace with who I am.

I’m not saying people must vegetarian or vegan to achieve this but reading books and articles, it’s scientifically prove that humans are supposed to eat 80% of plant based foods and the other 20% is up to us. The over consumption of meat and dairy products increases your risk of having high blood pressure, cancers and other kind of diseases.

Among our intern functions, the process of digestion takes between 50% or 80% of our energy. If most of our diet is meat or dairy we have less energy because your spend it more digesting. Eating properly our bodies won’t need caffeine. We aren’t eating when we’re not really hungry and we will have more energy to go thought our day.

Energy is the most precious thing we can create and we get this from sunlight, the food we eat, clean air, even your personal beliefs can influence it. If you have more you’ll live healthier and happier.

In my opinion we should shop more at the grocery store and less at the supermarkets where we find mostly process food. Eat more greens, beans, dried fruits, can have us taking better care of our bodies and our beauty can increase.

We are 50% what we eat, 50% our emotions and our bodies are so powerful that have the power to heal themselves. We just need to be more conscious about what we eat, create a clean space to reach our highest potential and have the belief that we all can do it.

This post about diet and nutrition was different from the rest, but I wanted to share my experience with my diet and how it influences me to stay more focused in achieving what I want. It allows me to be more productive and have more energy. Little by little I’m achieving my dreams!

Thank you, everyone, for all your support!

Nuestros cuerpos tiene el poder de sanarse a sí mismos

Pensaba en escribir este post hace un tiempo pero no me sentía completamente inspirada para terminarlo…. Sin embargo viendo los cambios en mi familia, amigos y en mi misma ahora es el mejor momento.

Me convertí al vegetarianismo hace un año y empecé a notar ciertos cambios. Siento mi cuerpo más limpio, mi mente más clara y tengo un espacio interno más limpio donde hay menos negatividad, tristeza o enfado. Empecé a atraer a gente con energía más positiva y me siento más en paz conmigo misma.

No estoy diciendo que debes ser vegetariano o vegano para conseguir todo esto pero leyendo libros y artículos está científicamente probado que los humanos deberían comer un 80% de una dieta a base de plantas y el 20% restante es a la elección personal. El consumo excesivo de carne y productos lácteos incrementa tu riesgo de presión alta en la sangre, cáncer u otro tipo de enfermedades.

Entre las funciones de proceso internas que tenemos la digestión usa entre el 50% u 80% de nuestra energía. Si en nuestra dieta hay mucha carne o lácteo nos sentiremos con menos energía porque lo perderemos en la digestión. Comiendo apropiadamente nuestro cuerpo no necesitará cafeína o picar cuando no estamos realmente hambrientos y tendremos más energía para el resto del día.

La energía es uno de las cosas más preciadas que creamos y la podemos obtener del sol, de la comida, de un aire limpio e incluso de nuestras creencias personales. Cuanta más energía tengamos más saludables y felices viviremos.

Uno de mis consejos es comprar más en la verdulería y menos en los supermercados, donde se vende más comida procesada. Comer más alimentos verdes, frutos secos, cuidar nuestro cuerpo y nuestra belleza aumentará.

Somos el 50% lo que comemos, 50% lo que sentimos y nuestro cuerpo es tan poderoso que tiene el poder de sanarse a sí mismo…. solo necesitamos ser más conscientes en lo que comemos, crear un espacio limpio para así alcanzar nuestro más alto potencial y es algo que todos podemos hacerlo.

Este post sobre dieta y nutrición fue muy diferente al resto, pero creo que compartir mi experiencia sobre mi dieta y como esta me efluye para estar más enfocada en lo quiero, rendir más cada día y tener más energía para poco a poco alcanzar mis sueños.

Gracias a todos por vuestro apoyo y hasta pronto.

What do successful people have in common?

Science says “willpower is highest in the morning, so start your day strong” and that’s what successful people do. They have a morning ritual which sets the tone for the day. The practice of a proactive morning helps to re-energize, build focus and eliminate stress.

Who is the most important person in the world? You! So, if you want to kick start your days and a lifetime of success spend your time conscientiously during the morning, establishing healthy habits, be consistent with them and it will have an impact in your life. Here a list of my powerful habits and you can choose those that fit better with your lifestyle:

1. Make a plan the night before

Make a short list of what you need to accomplish the next day. Then you will have clarity to go through your day.

2. Wake up extra early

In a poll of 20 executives cited by Laura Vanderkam, the author of “What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast” 90% said they wake up before 6 a.m. on weekdays.

3. Working out

If people with high number of responsibilities as in presidents or CEOs of big companies have time for exercise why wouldn’t you?

4. Work on your personal project

After working all day we get tired. When we get home we want to eat, rest and we don’t have time for personal projects. Take advantage of your morning and give time to these projects. Write the book you want, paint, design or just call your mom.

5. Silent time

You can use this time to pray, meditate, reflect on what you are grateful for, repeat positive affirmations or do anything that makes you feel peaceful. There are tons of videos which can help inspired your morning. One of my favorite is from Tony Robbins.

6. Make your bed

I love this quick habit and I think it can make your happier and have more productive day. It also helps to keep a clean and organize space to see when you get home after work. Charles Duhigg in his book “The Power of Habit” writes it’s a “keystone habit” and people that consistently make their beds also tend to have “a greater sense of well-being and stronger skills at sticking with a budget”.

Most of the success people work out in the morning and have a healthy breakfast. What else do they do? For example, Barack Obama avoids criticism of all mass media information and he drinks green tea or water instead of coffee and he exercises. Steve Jobs used to ask himself “If it will be the last day of your life. What would you like to do today?”. Benjamin Franklin used to ask himself “What good should I do today?”… What would you do?

Dream with the biggest picture for your life

In this post we will talk with Stephen Gironda. He has been working as a coach for 27 years. When he was in College he started as a sports coach for children in high school. Afterward he worked as a coach to teaching how to be effective in a job interview, then he went into the hotel business, where he applied and learned new coach skills and finally he was be able to created his own business.  Steve didn’t think to create a business until he did a leadership program in 1988. After that he was more committed with his career and was able to create a coaching company he named, Torch Pass.

“Give new meaning to the word living”

As Steve puts it: “Gratitude is appreciating how much you have focused on what you have and not on what you are missing”. The dictionary defines “grateful” as: “expressing or showing thanks for someone or something”. After listening to Steve and reading this definition I came to the conclusion that: Abundance will show up in our lives when we choose to be grateful for what is in it. It could be very possible that we already have abundance but we need to be grateful in order to truly see it!!
Dream big!!!

Thinking in terms of scarcity can stop you from dreaming big, but it takes courage to have a bigger picture of the life you want for yourself and you must be willing to make that dream come true. The big picture “is not only about yourself, it’s about how you can contribute to others by living a life of abundance.”

You should always keep ever present what exactly your big picture is because there will be days when you feel as though you are going backwards. Steve said, “the universe can push us back and it is a reminder to reset and begin again. Embrace these bad days or moments of fear because it will allow you to learn, grow and stay committed with your vision”.

Steve remind us what Thomas Edison did. He failed many times before he invented the light bulb. “He didn’t think each experiment was a failure. Actually, each experiment which failed, became a breakthrough for Edison in other scientific areas involving different things. Failures were just a stop to learn more information.”
A popular Edison quote is ¨I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work¨. So I say to you: Don’t be scared to fail, it is each failure that is leading you one step closer to success.

Always ask

Remember Steve’s final tip: “be always willing to ask the question, even if most of the time the answer could be no. You will be amazed when the answer turns out to be yes!

So it doesn’t hurt to ask! It could be uncomfortable but just ask… hey can I be in that movie, can I do this, can I have this job, would you like to go out with me, etc.

At Torch Learnigng Programs, provide experiential workshops for parents, teens, families and corporations using more than 25 years of success in executive and youth coaching. Contact them for more information.

Thank you for reading!

See you soon

High ropes workshop

You can live out your passion every days

Michael with his students in a school of Jiexiu, China.

Happiness as a purpose of life is what many people do and Michael is an example for it. Without being a graduated teacher he achieved to be one in China. Now he lives a life full of passion and purpose.

Michael is a 37 year old New Yorker and ex-sales employee and is now an English teacher in Shanxi, a northern province in China. Success is just being happy can be a statement of life for many people but sometimes it is not. For Michael, there was a time when he thought success was making a good amount of money to live. However, four years ago he changed that and now he lives with the purpose to be happy. Driving your life by passion is the key to success and it is what Michael does. He wasn’t happy working as a sales person for big companies like AT&T or Geico in the United States so he decided to change his job and he started to look for a job where he can live out is his passion for teaching.

Without being a graduated teacher, he went to Russia for a month to teach English in a camp for children. He loved the experience and he looked for other possibilities to be an English teacher abroad. He started to prepare to get the certification to be an English teacher, meanwhile, he got a job in the small town of Jiexiu (population 400,000) in China in May 2016.

Actually, he gives English classes 5 days a week to children between 3 and 15 years old. It’s sounds ironic, that he wakes up with a smile and goes to bed with an even bigger smile because I cannot imagine how he does it. I think it is because he loves what he does. Jiexiu is a small town where a teacher wants to make a difference for children and give them the opportunity to learn from a native English speaking teacher about American culture and their language. The fact that he didn’t study in a college to be a teacher didn’t stop from looking for possibilities to find his success and happiness as a man and teacher.

“I choose every day to create joy, passion and impact”

Leo Tolstoy

Marc Fein is a 31 year old New Yorker who is a mental health educator, facilitator and mentor. His dream is a world where everyone can express themselves authentically, be connected with each other and fully reach their potential.

Marc had depression episodes which made him relook at his life. This started as a negative experience but it ended up bringing positive change. Marc said “It was a wakeup call for me and it made me discover new ways in my life”.

Trainings in Advanced Education helped him create a mindset to achieve more and bigger goals. He also had wonderful mentors in his life. About that Marc said “It is valuable to have people with wisdom and experience to share with you while you are working on your dream”.

Marc told the following story “There is a person who would like to change the entire world. He realized in order to change the entire world, he has to start to change his city. If he wants to change his city he realized he has to start changing his community. In order to change his community he realized he has to change his family. If he wants to change his family he will need to start by changing himself”.

This story reflects what Marc thinks about having a big dream. “The first step is work with myself, then see how I interact with the world in the most direct area of responsibility. After will be steps I can take in order to share that with other people. There are a lot of small steps to build up a vision for  fulfillment of a big dream”.

Marc also said “I think it’s more important to have a dream that is so exciting it gets you up every morning and to create something with it every day. Everyone should have something that they are passionate about and it is important to start with small steps”. Marc, said “I get to choose every day if I want to focus on the fear and anxiety or if I am going to believe in myself and trust myself to create joy, passion and impact”

Difference between failing and learning

Marc said, “The only difference between both is failing makes you stop. When you learn you keep going. Then if you fail try something else”.

We can say if something doesn’t go the way you expected and you stop, then you failed because you let the obstacle stop you. If you learn that means you took something that happened to you, figured out what the lesson was and how it can support you in moving forward. Marc said, “I don’t need to be successful the first time but no matter what happens it will have a valuable lesson for me that supports me moving forward. So regardless of what happens I know I am going to keep moving forward. It’s a mindset of energy that supports me building momentum”

A message for the readers

Marc said, “It’s never is too late to start to have a big dream. I had the story in my own head when I already turned 30 I thought I missed an important part of my life. However I encourage everybody regardless of age that it is never too late to start to change your life, to choose a new adventure, to create a new personal identity…”.

Open yourself up to the possibility, maybe the world wants you to be successful and you will be surprised what turns up if you choose it”.