Your past does not serve your destiny

Sojourn Wei comes from China originally and she has been in New York for nine years. She realized her dream by working as a professional in one of the major banks. New York is one of the greatest cities in the world where everything is right outside of your door and Sojourn chooses this city because it meets her ambitions.

She is a very empathic woman who has an ambitious vision for the world, “A world with peace and love where good political leaders can stand up for themselves and their communities in order for everyone to share resources equally. Rather than focusing on competition we can work collectively”.

Talking about habits in life, Sojourn says her best habit is self-reflection. “When something bad happens I would dedicate time to reflect on what could I have done differently and how could I prevent it from happening again”. Her areas of improvement is procrastination, “there are promises I made to myself but I didn’t take action to achieve them. That’s when I feel frustrated and lost confidence on myself. She thinks consistency is an important habit to achieve success in life.

Many of us are just like Sojourn sometimes we want to be multi-tasking or perfectionists in what we do. However, Sojourn said, “we can always ask ourselves if we are doing the best in our life. If you are doing the best in life there is no regret or worry about being perfect. Perfection is a work in progress because we are growing each day”.

Three lessons to remember:

She learnt to be grateful and kind from her mother. By being grateful, “it helps me to come out of difficult situations or experiences by focusing on what we have instead of on what we don’t have. By being kind you connect with others, Sojourn says “she is passionate about helping people, being transparent, open and direct in communication”.

Her dad taught her to be ambitious. She said “This is a kind of ambition which connects with your passion. It encourages us to move forward. It will make us improve ourselves day by day and be a better leader in our community”.

Past and future

“Your past doesn’t serve your future or your destiny. Maybe you are attached to certain emotions or bad experiences and you can’t create a higher achievement by focusing on the present”. If you want to be more conscious and have breakthroughs in life she recommended trainings in Advanced Education or Vipassana (it is 10 days of silent meditation where you are isolated from the world) which helps you to listen to your inner voice more clearly.

The second opportunity

She thinks that everyone in life deserves a second opportunity. Sojourn says “we are humans and we make mistakes from time to time. It takes courage to forgive and it comes from a deep compassion to let go of the past, to trust and forgive in order to offer a second opportunity for ourselves and others”. Seeking forgiveness and acknowledging you made a mistake is being authentic and people deserve second opportunities.

Here ends our post. Hope you enjoyed it.

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Dream with the biggest picture for your life

In this post we will talk with Stephen Gironda. He has been working as a coach for 27 years. When he was in College he started as a sports coach for children in high school. Afterward he worked as a coach to teaching how to be effective in a job interview, then he went into the hotel business, where he applied and learned new coach skills and finally he was be able to created his own business.  Steve didn’t think to create a business until he did a leadership program in 1988. After that he was more committed with his career and was able to create a coaching company he named, Torch Pass.

“Give new meaning to the word living”

As Steve puts it: “Gratitude is appreciating how much you have focused on what you have and not on what you are missing”. The dictionary defines “grateful” as: “expressing or showing thanks for someone or something”. After listening to Steve and reading this definition I came to the conclusion that: Abundance will show up in our lives when we choose to be grateful for what is in it. It could be very possible that we already have abundance but we need to be grateful in order to truly see it!!
Dream big!!!

Thinking in terms of scarcity can stop you from dreaming big, but it takes courage to have a bigger picture of the life you want for yourself and you must be willing to make that dream come true. The big picture “is not only about yourself, it’s about how you can contribute to others by living a life of abundance.”

You should always keep ever present what exactly your big picture is because there will be days when you feel as though you are going backwards. Steve said, “the universe can push us back and it is a reminder to reset and begin again. Embrace these bad days or moments of fear because it will allow you to learn, grow and stay committed with your vision”.

Steve remind us what Thomas Edison did. He failed many times before he invented the light bulb. “He didn’t think each experiment was a failure. Actually, each experiment which failed, became a breakthrough for Edison in other scientific areas involving different things. Failures were just a stop to learn more information.”
A popular Edison quote is ¨I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work¨. So I say to you: Don’t be scared to fail, it is each failure that is leading you one step closer to success.

Always ask

Remember Steve’s final tip: “be always willing to ask the question, even if most of the time the answer could be no. You will be amazed when the answer turns out to be yes!

So it doesn’t hurt to ask! It could be uncomfortable but just ask… hey can I be in that movie, can I do this, can I have this job, would you like to go out with me, etc.

At Torch Learnigng Programs, provide experiential workshops for parents, teens, families and corporations using more than 25 years of success in executive and youth coaching. Contact them for more information.

Thank you for reading!

See you soon

High ropes workshop

You can live out your passion every days

Michael with his students in a school of Jiexiu, China.

Happiness as a purpose of life is what many people do and Michael is an example for it. Without being a graduated teacher he achieved to be one in China. Now he lives a life full of passion and purpose.

Michael is a 37 year old New Yorker and ex-sales employee and is now an English teacher in Shanxi, a northern province in China. Success is just being happy can be a statement of life for many people but sometimes it is not. For Michael, there was a time when he thought success was making a good amount of money to live. However, four years ago he changed that and now he lives with the purpose to be happy. Driving your life by passion is the key to success and it is what Michael does. He wasn’t happy working as a sales person for big companies like AT&T or Geico in the United States so he decided to change his job and he started to look for a job where he can live out is his passion for teaching.

Without being a graduated teacher, he went to Russia for a month to teach English in a camp for children. He loved the experience and he looked for other possibilities to be an English teacher abroad. He started to prepare to get the certification to be an English teacher, meanwhile, he got a job in the small town of Jiexiu (population 400,000) in China in May 2016.

Actually, he gives English classes 5 days a week to children between 3 and 15 years old. It’s sounds ironic, that he wakes up with a smile and goes to bed with an even bigger smile because I cannot imagine how he does it. I think it is because he loves what he does. Jiexiu is a small town where a teacher wants to make a difference for children and give them the opportunity to learn from a native English speaking teacher about American culture and their language. The fact that he didn’t study in a college to be a teacher didn’t stop from looking for possibilities to find his success and happiness as a man and teacher.

“I choose every day to create joy, passion and impact”

Leo Tolstoy

Marc Fein is a 31 year old New Yorker who is a mental health educator, facilitator and mentor. His dream is a world where everyone can express themselves authentically, be connected with each other and fully reach their potential.

Marc had depression episodes which made him relook at his life. This started as a negative experience but it ended up bringing positive change. Marc said “It was a wakeup call for me and it made me discover new ways in my life”.

Trainings in Advanced Education helped him create a mindset to achieve more and bigger goals. He also had wonderful mentors in his life. About that Marc said “It is valuable to have people with wisdom and experience to share with you while you are working on your dream”.

Marc told the following story “There is a person who would like to change the entire world. He realized in order to change the entire world, he has to start to change his city. If he wants to change his city he realized he has to start changing his community. In order to change his community he realized he has to change his family. If he wants to change his family he will need to start by changing himself”.

This story reflects what Marc thinks about having a big dream. “The first step is work with myself, then see how I interact with the world in the most direct area of responsibility. After will be steps I can take in order to share that with other people. There are a lot of small steps to build up a vision for  fulfillment of a big dream”.

Marc also said “I think it’s more important to have a dream that is so exciting it gets you up every morning and to create something with it every day. Everyone should have something that they are passionate about and it is important to start with small steps”. Marc, said “I get to choose every day if I want to focus on the fear and anxiety or if I am going to believe in myself and trust myself to create joy, passion and impact”

Difference between failing and learning

Marc said, “The only difference between both is failing makes you stop. When you learn you keep going. Then if you fail try something else”.

We can say if something doesn’t go the way you expected and you stop, then you failed because you let the obstacle stop you. If you learn that means you took something that happened to you, figured out what the lesson was and how it can support you in moving forward. Marc said, “I don’t need to be successful the first time but no matter what happens it will have a valuable lesson for me that supports me moving forward. So regardless of what happens I know I am going to keep moving forward. It’s a mindset of energy that supports me building momentum”

A message for the readers

Marc said, “It’s never is too late to start to have a big dream. I had the story in my own head when I already turned 30 I thought I missed an important part of my life. However I encourage everybody regardless of age that it is never too late to start to change your life, to choose a new adventure, to create a new personal identity…”.

Open yourself up to the possibility, maybe the world wants you to be successful and you will be surprised what turns up if you choose it”.